“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“The white bus pulled into the parking lot, as I sat staring out the waiting room window of the doctor’s office.”

I like when Del Bloggolo starts like this. It sounds as if he is beginning a novel. It draws me in every time. It kind of reminds me of those exercises improv comedians do where one person makes up one line of a novel and then the next person makes up another line and so on and so on until they have an entire story.

Here, let me demonstrate: “The white bus pulled into the parking lot, as I sat staring out the waiting room window of the doctor’s office.” I will write the next sentence: “The smell of stale baked ziti wafted forth from the hospital cafeteria as I could feel my stomach begin to grumble with anticipation.” You should try it now. It’s fun!

Okay, back to the post…

“I decided to go out and help whoever was taking Ellen to the visit from her day program.”

Vintage Del Bloggolo. He’s always ready to lend a hand, even when not asked to do so. He truly is one of the good guys. And I’m not joking.

“We exchanged pleasantries and I proceeded to help her retrieve Ellen.”

I enjoy the use of the verb “retrieve” in this sentence. It’s the perfect word to describe what one has to do when dealing with my sister. It can be a harrowing experience and “retrieve” makes it seem like he had to cross enemy lines to get a fellow soldier. And it usually requires more than one brave soldier to get the job done.

“On the bus, I noticed an elderly gentleman, sitting and looking a little agitated.”

Maybe that’s because he saw Del Bloggolo coming and thought, “Oh boy, he’s going to write about me in that g-damn blog of his.”

“The elderly man who’s (sic) name is Gary, just sat there with the driver. He would wait for Ellen to see the doctor first.”

Aside from the incorrect usage of what should have been “whose”, I really like these sentences. They are short, pithy and on point.

“After a while, with the beat of the steady downpour and the grayness of the day, Gary appears from the front door of the office.”

Once again, Del Bloggolo is venturing into novel territory as he paints a very vivid picture of what is going on. Let's play "Finish the novel" again, shall we? “After a while, with the beat of the steady downpour and the grayness of the day, Gary appears from the front door of the office.” My turn: "He looks like a man defeated. A man who reached for the last calzone, only to have it stolen right out from under him by his nemesis, the dastardly Aldo Linarducci."

“As he walks, he is screaming: ‘NOOOOOOO!’”

I was right. Clearly Gary is annoyed at having to deal with Del Bloggolo. But who wouldn’t be? You just know whatever you say is going to wind up in that cockameme blog of his.

“I get up to help get Gary back on the bus. “NOOOOOOO!” Once again, Gary was voicing disdain about things in general!”

Look in the mirror, Del Bloggolo, and think again.

“I hold Gary by his arm and ask “You want to go home?” He looks at me and says: ‘Yes.’” I start to laugh to myself as he begins again: “NOOOOOOO!”

Funny! Del Bloggolo has a great ear for comedy and this is a perfect example. And again, I feel like I am right there with him.

“But Gary wasn’t done with me. No siree, as he steps down with my help, he blurts out: “F*%#” (The ‘f’ word!)”

Interesting. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Del Bloggolo has been ranting a lot about the ‘f’ word recently. It clearly is the current burr under his saddle. I’m a little surprised by this. After all, it is just a word. Why is he offended? He gets annoyed when other people get offended by simple words like, “Oriental” and “Indian”, etc. How could he do the very same thing he mocks others for doing? That’s so unlike him!

“The day-care woman’s eyes popped out of her head and she says: “EXCUUUUUSE ME! Gary, we don’t use that kind of language!” “NOOOOOOO!”

Poor Gary. The guy can’t catch a break.

And sure enough, Gary was right all along. He did end up in the cockameme blog.

ORIGINALITY: 4 CANNOLIS! (This is slightly new terrain for Del Bloggolo. The only thing that ruined the originality was yet another rant about the “F” word. We get it. You don’t like hearing it.) ADJUSTED TO 5 CANNOLIS! Del Bloggolo corrected me correctly... He didn't actually rant about the F word this time. I will raise the originality by one cannoli.

SENTIMENTALITY: 1 CANNOLI! (A story that is sort of about Ellen, but not really. Also, where are the mentions of TLW (The Little Woman)?

NOSTALGIA: 0 CANNOLIS! (Not one story about Brooklyn. I can only hope that he has a big one stored up in his arsenal and we are about to get showered with anecdotes about “Tio Felice” and “Come-on-a Get out!” For the unitiated, these are Del Bloggolo favorites.)

FOOD REFERENCES: 0 CANNONLIS! (I can kind of understand. After yesterday’s post he really needs to go on a diet.)

OVERALL: 3.5 CANNOLIS! (I liked this post. It was short and funny – what we’ve all come to expect from Del Bloggolo. Now, I speak for everyone when I say, “I can’t f*&cking wait for tomorrow’s!” ADJUSTED SCORE: 4.5 CANNOLIS! Once again, Del Bloggolo was right. There was no actual F-word rant, so I adjusted the score.